Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock ~ Matthew Quick
★★★★★
Trigger warning for rape, sexual assault, suicide, depression, and gun violence.
"You're different. And I'm different too. Different is good. But different is hard. Believe me, I know."
I am stunned by how good this is. I don't often read contemporary, but when I do, I try to read books with an important message, not something short and fluffy.
While short, there's definitely nothing fluffy about this.
I was basically sobbing the entire time. I've seriously never cried so much reading a book in my entire life, except for maybe They Cage The Animals At Night, which I read in the 7th grade and still cry about whenever I think of it. Honestly, I think this book should replace The Catcher in the Rye as a school required read, because it is so much deeper, more succinct, and far more emotional with a more profound message. Also, since I'm comparing, it reminded me a lot of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, though I have to admit I enjoyed this more.
Leonard Peacock is a startlingly complex and flawed person, suffering deeply and seemingly totally alone in his life. The few good people and things he has, or had, have either proven false or go unappreciated because of the thick cloud of misery under which he lives. Of those good people, I was particularly fond of Walt, his elderly neighbor, and Herr Silverman, his teacher. Unfortunately, the bad people—his mother, his old best friend Asher, and the countless blank faces who think more of themselves than of others—make him blind to the necessary love he already has.
This is a story of fear and sadness, of the conclusions scared kids make when they think they're out of options, but it's also a story of the hope of humanity, the beauty and potential of human decency. It's a story that hits close to home.
I particularly loved the complex view of people in this; of the bigoted views Walt has, of the unchanging narcissism of his mother, of Leonard himself, and the horrible act he plans to commit. Nothing is black or white. Nothing is wholly good or wholly bad. And I really appreciated that.
The "letters from the future" chapters were extremely well done, placed exactly where they needed to be, and added a great deal of hope for the future, as well as a melancholy view into Leonard's psyche at the time when he wrote them. I remember doing similar exercizes in my high school classes, not really seeing the point of them then. I think I see the point of them now.
I found the writing style to be quite unique, and paired with the excellent audiobook I listened to, Leonard's stream of consciousness voice was fantastically told, giving a very personal story a very personal feel.
There's nothing else I can really say other than wow. I cannot recommend enough.
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