Patience ~ C.H. Admirand
★★☆☆☆
So here's the deal with this book: I was 11, it was the week before my family left on our summer vacation, and my sister checked this out from the library for our trip. She read it first, and then passed it on to my other sister, who in turn passed it on to me. We all agreed that it was terrible, and yet we all read it. I have no explanation for this.
So here's the deal with the plot: Patience is a girl who lives in the British countryside and in the first chapter of the book dresses up as a man to intercept her best friend and stop him from dueling with this guy, who supposedly deflowered his sister or something. So, she runs into the duel like a complete idiot and gets shot. Turns out the guy doing the deflowering is her newly betrothed. Because crappy romance book. And on goes the strangest book I've ever read.
~A list of what happens (I haven't been able to find a copy in years, so I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist anymore, so spoilers don't really matter anymore)~
~She thinks that she is ugly but is described by both the book and literally everyone else as being an unearthly beauty
~She constantly faints in order to get out of difficult social situations or just when she's bored I guess
~Her best friend completely disappears from the plot
~At one point, she thinks a "mistress" is a very good thing (which her cousins say is not the case but don't tell her why) and goes to her jerky ex-boyfriend and asks him if she'd make a good mistress, and he's like, "Oh boy, yes please" and starts kissing her, and in comes her betrothed who beats the crap out of him. I'm pretty sure she faints at one point
~She doesn't know what sex is but tells everyone she does but on her wedding night, she thought they were just going to cuddle
~They have sex anyway but she faints to get out of it
~Her betrothed has an evil twin half-brother who is sullying his good name
~They have graphic sex like twice (and I was 11--why did my sisters not warn me??)
~She gets kidnapped by the evil twin half-brother and faints her way out of it
I love this book for some reason even though it's probably just about the worst thing I've ever read. It holds a special place in my heart.
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