How Far We Go and How Fast ~ Nora Decter

★★★★★

I received this eARC from Orca Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Around here anything can happen, and it very often does.

Obligatory Summary

Jolene is struggling with the sudden absence of her brother while trying to go to school, eat, walk her dog, hang out with friends, and deal with her absent parents. The only thing that gets her through is her music. But when does a coping mechanism become a crutch, and when does the problem become too much to ignore? How will long until she can't stay in her hometown? How long until she joins Matt?

This is a story about sadness and loss and avoidance through action and inaction. It's a mystery and a coming-of-age and a drama. It's about the grieving process, and how it takes time to be okay, and how you'll never be the same again, but you can learn to love what you have and what you've lost too.

I don’t know if I believe in time. I mean, I don’t believe it works for me the same way it works for other people. Other people can count on today turning into tomorrow and tomorrow turning into the day after that. But I can’t count on it at all.

The Writing and Characters

I really enjoyed the writing in this book. It read it in mostly one sitting. It really just flowed well and drew me in deep rather quickly. I loved the plot and the pacing. The whole thing gave me some strong Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock feels with a dash of Sadie thrown in for good measure.

A unique aspect was the music and concerts Jo goes to. I love music and I honestly related to that part of the story so much (minus the drugs and alcohol)

All the characters felt so real. I know people like them. I love them. I hate them. I am them.

Jolene: She was so relatable it scares me a little. She's an overthinker to the extreme (hello, that's me), she avoids conflict (thanks for calling me out, Nora Decter), and she dresses like a hobo with some money stashed away (help me). She's self-deprecating and sarcastic, and I just want her to have good things (I want to have good things too).

Her relationship with Matt, her brother, was definitely one of the most interesting parts of the book. It just so happens that one of my WIPs is basically the same plot (but I a sci-fi setting) so to see it so wonderfully executed was both exhilarating and frightening.

Maggie: She's such a great character. She's awful, but also awfully human. She's not bad but not good and you have to love what she gives you

The Squad: Graham, Drew, and manicpixiedreamgirl were fun characters, and really liked them, but they were definitely the least interesting part of the book, though they did help move the plot along.

Ms Groves: She's honestly the Herr Silverman of this book and I loved her. She's sassy and unconventional and freaking loves tea.

I can’t tell him how I’ve slowly stopped going to school, at first because everybody looked at me and now because they don’t look at me at all and it turns out maybe it’s worse that way. It’s what I wanted, but it’s worse. I can’t tell him that sometimes when I come over and we hang out, it’s been a day or two since I’ve said much out loud, and my voice sounds strange to my ears. I can’t tell him how much I want to leave or how I’m afraid I might someday, like tomorrow or the day after that. And how I’m afraid leaving might be like other things I thought I wanted and then, after I got them, it turned out I didn’t. I don’t tell him how afraid I am. Of everything. How I see danger everywhere. How sometimes when I try to sleep at night I see a roof collapsing on him at work, or the floor caving in, or I see him falling. How I see Maggie plowing the car into a tree or the river or something else that seems harmless until it’s not. I don’t tell him how sometimes I think I’m right when I’m wrong. Really right when I’m really, really wrong. And so it’s not just that I don’t trust other people. I don’t trust myself.

I don’t tell him these things so that he won’t say they’re amazing. Because Jim thinks everything is amazing. And everything is not.

Conclusion

I really appreciate this book. It's short and intense and will make you cry. Also, it's got a pseudo-psychic dog named Howl for goodness sake! Read it!

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